How to flirt with a guy

Before you begin flirting it's important to know that first you must be comfortable within yourself before building comfort with another person. Keeping the conversation toeing the line of innuendos and sexy confidence can be a daunting thought at first but practice makes perfect and once you get the hang of it you'll have fun doing so.

It is important to note that the whole purpose of flirting is to test the waters to see if who you are flirting with is a sleaze (in which case you avoid) or someone who is on your wavelength and you can enjoy his guys company sometime in the future on a date, if he’s funny and interesting.

Don’t expect too much

Flirting is meant to be fun. You don’t know much, if anything about the guy you’re flirting with so don’t be too serious about it and just enjoy yourself. You may never talk to him again or he may be your future husband but don’t wear your heart on your sleeve and reveal too much, too soon. Keeping it short, sweet and playful, it's what flirting is all about. Keep that in mind and you’ll have more success meeting interesting guys and have fun stories to tell.

Be approachable but don’t be desperate

If you’re after the kind of guy who looks as though he may get approached by girls a lot then make him aware of your presence by looking over and smiling at him, but take note of how he acts and reacts towards you. Allow for some time to lapse before you make a choice of whether to pursue him or not.

If you do decide to approach him initiate conversation with a simple “Hey, how are you?” and make small talk intertwined with some playfulness and teasing. If conversation is going well you can reciprocate some information about yourself about what your interests are and what you do for a living. Tell him the best bits but make it gradual, don’t give everything away too soon but give him tid-bits of information on which to build upon future conversations

Be playful and tease

You can’t flirt if you aren’t in a playful mood. If you’re too concerned about how you look rather than having fun, it won’t work. Don’t be afraid to be a bit silly. Just relax and have fun!

Teasing also acts really well in building comfort and familiarity with each other. Act as if you’ve known him your whole life. Give him a nickname, silly as it may be and joke with him, without making it too serious. Remember not to cross the line and insult or offend him but as long as you are playful and smiling you can’t really go wrong.

Give him your attention

Guys as well as girls appreciate a good listener so during conversation don’t be distracted by what’s going on around you as for a guy it can be really off putting to be talking to someone who appears to be distracted or not listening. Turn your body towards him and engage in what he’s saying IF of course you are interested. If not, make a polite excuse to leave but remember to remain friendly

Positive body language

You should be able to read his body language as an indicator of whether or not he’s interested. Does he turn his body towards you? Does he maintain eye contact? Does he look approachable? Is he smiling? These are all things to look out for to confirm whether or not he is indeed interested in you.

Don’t forget to turn your body towards the guy you’re talking to and don’t be afraid to make eye contact. Smile and posture to show off your best assets ;-)

It’s ok to touch

Initiate touch. Be natural and don’t be afraid to give a hug, tap or stroke. Be playful. A quick pinch, or hand grab or rub will increase intimacy and attraction. For example you could adjust his shirt or compliment his dress sense. But be aware that as women, we sometimes find ourselves getting uncomfortable with guys invading our personal space. It’s also true that guys can be feel this way too, if you put it on them too soon. As the conversation you are having escalates you can move into touching gradually and naturally to seduce him.

Compliment him

Guys love compliments just as much as we do, but generally speaking they get complimented far less often.  Be sincere in your compliments and it doesn’t have to be something as superficial as his appearance. Compliment something he has shared with you… be it his ethics, hobbies, interests etc. Compliment him on his character.

Seal the deal

If you feel a spark or an interest in the person you’re flirting with don’t be hesitant to exchange numbers and arrange a meet up. If however they aren’t interested then don’t take it personally as you have no idea what goes on behind the scenes in his life, especially if you just met. Be glad you got to have some fun flirting. As I said, don’t take it too seriously it’s just a bit of fun!

Happy flirting!

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Erin Rose

If you want to know how to get a guy to like you or how to get a boyfriend please subscribe to my free newsletter.

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